Monday, January 7, 2013

Transitioning back

I don't know what to say. I just opened up my Blogger dashboard page only to realize I've reached a landmark of 9,000 views on my blog. I had no idea what I was going to write about tonight, and I still don't. But as I dive headfirst into this, I figured I should extend a warm thank you to anyone and everyone who has taken the time to read my ramblings. It really means a lot to me that anyone clicks the links on my Facebook posts, Google searches for this blog or even saves the link. The fact that anyone cares to read what is essentially an oddly formed diary makes me feel very loved in a world that can sometimes seem so big that I get lost within it. So thanks again.

Okay now that we've gone through a whole paragraph dedicated to thanking you, my wonderful reader, I might as well do what I do best - or second best, since I still think some of my earliest blogs that were more generally themed were better. I will now proceed to tell you about my day, which was nothing less than eventful. After all I was moving in to my dorm for the first time in more than a the winter.

I was a little nervous for this day to come. Even last year when it was still months and months away, I couldn't help but consider moving into a dorm in the dead of winter in 2013 without shuddering. Past move-ins have happened without much of a problem. They occurred in the fall. Warm temperatures and no snow on the ground, plus I was always on the first floor of my dorm.

This time, I am not on the first floor. I am on the fourth. And though I was informed that the building would have working elevators for move-in, it turns out that was just a bald-faced lie. If I was not so lucky to have a family friend who helped me move all my heavy boxes (and my refrigerator) into the room, I probably would've been sleeping outside tonight.

After a few trips up with suitcases, we did the heavy duty box-lifting all the way to the fourth floor. It was treacherous, but it was done in good time. Aside from a few ice skating movies across the frosted sidewalk, there were no near-accidents.

Coming back hasn't felt fully real yet, though. I have moved into my dorm, but not actually stepped foot on the main campus yet. I'm across the street from where all of my classes are, so unlike in past years when I was physically on campus in my housing, now I'm a ways away. It's a reasonable distance, but it's new to me.

It's a weird sensation to be back here. I don't know if it's nostalgia for my old dorm, sadness at leaving behind California or even depression about not being back in London for the term. Whatever it is, something feels a little unusual.

And while i anticipated it greatly yesterday, now that I'm here I'm a little confused about my actual reaction. I just don't feel the way I thought I would upon arriving back at Northwestern.

In fact, at this moment I just wish my dad was sleeping over in my room with me because it might make me feel less lonely. Either that, or I wish there wasn't a time difference between my boyfriend and I so that I could talk to him a bit about how I'm feeling (it does comfort me, however, to know that he will be reading this when he wakes up). My friends are in the next room over, but tonight I feel like just spending a few hours by myself before I go to sleep. I guess that contradicts my complaints of loneliness. I would explain, but I'm a bit confused myself.

Regardless, the start to my quarter tomorrow will be an interesting one. I'll be back in a class with one of my favorite professors at university. After that I'll be taking another class in the same subject (film). Both classes are in the same room, one after the other.

It'll take me about a week to get back into the swing of things here, but I hope that I get used to it fast. The saddest thing about going to school in London for a term was that I never actually warmed up to the campus I was studying at, nor did I feel very comfortable in my classes or with my work. It felt very foreign to me and it made me uneasy.

London itself was beautiful in the same way that Chicago is beautiful. But a college campus has to have that je ne sais quoi - that aspect of it that makes it a home. The school that I'm sat in at the moment is home to me, but it'll take a bit of time to bring it back to being home.

I'm ready to make the transition back, though. Bring it on.

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