Right now I'd like to focus on everything that's good in my life. While I could write more about worrying over my grandma's health or other issues that are taking a toll on my heart, I figure it will actually be more beneficial to just take a moment to reflect on the great and wonderful things that are happening. I am always worrying, so why not use this blog to remind me of what there is to be excited about?
Well, first and foremost, I'd like to welcome my new baby nephew into the world. His name is Wyatt. He is a quiet little boy. I've already spent quite a bit of time with him over FaceTime - to which I say "woohoo" for technology - yet I'm even more excited to meet him in just a couple of weeks.
His birth was a particularly joyous moment for me. In the past few weeks I've felt like almost nothing could go my way. On top of feeling especially lonely, I couldn't get into the classes I wanted to, I was sleep-deprived and overworked, etc. Problems piled onto other problems and I was just worn down. Fed up. Sick. I'm surprised I didn't literally become ill (knock on wood).
Then my sister went into labor. And it's weird, but in a moment like that everything basically stands still. I got a text notifying me of the rush to the hospital while I was in class and I practically leapt out of my seat. All I wanted to do was hop on a plane to California at that very moment. I still wish I could - for my new nephew and to be there to help my grandma. But unfortunately, responsibilities still weigh on me and I have to focus on final homework assignments rather than where I really should be, which is home.
Still, the little ray of sunshine in my darkest days was the baby nephew I'd be welcoming to the world. The morning of his birth, I woke up to a photo of him in my text message inbox and I just couldn't stop smiling.
So there's that.
Then there was this moment - and now I realize I'm not going in chronological order - that I found out I could transfer into a class I really wanted to be in. Though my schedule still isn't ideal, I am now taking a screenwriting course in the spring. Maybe you'll think I'm blowing it out of proportion, but the prospect of that excites me to no end. Even if I'm placed in the course that is exclusively made up of freshmen, there's something about getting to be creative and learn a new style of writing that very much appeals to me. I can't wait to learn the new skills and practice my art of dialogue writing.
The moment I switched into the class, however, was not so simple and not so joyous. I was in class just about to start a film (It Happened One Night, one of my favorites) when I randomly chose to check my "shopping cart" to see if any classes I wanted had opened up. I saw a little green dot next to one of the screenwriting classes and immediately my heart started racing. If there were other students vying for the same position, I'd certainly be shut out. Plus I was attempting to register from my cell phone which inevitably forgets how to work as soon as I need it toward some important purpose.
Despite my iPhone freezing every couple of seconds, I managed to transfer. Not without sweating and shaking in my seat, though. But it got done, and that made me happy.
Finally, today while I was freaking out whilst doing research for my final assignments of the quarter I felt strangely happy. In the fall when I was in London, all of my classes were reasonably interesting, but they left no room for creativity of personal interest in their research papers. The most interesting paper I wrote while in London was on Mark Rothko and the play Red, and that was because my professor had given us the leeway to create our own topic. Unfortunately, all my other essays involved looking at the same books as at least a dozen other students, and trying to deduce the same boring thesis statements they did. It made the essay-writing process insufferable.
This time around, I have a paper to write on Walt Disney. I have another paper to write on The Bachelor. I have a photo story to edit that covers a comedy group on campus. And finally, I have a paper tracing the transition from Screwball Comedies to Romantic Comedies between the 1930s and now.
Well, seriously. Let's compare for a second. In London, I wrote papers on the Boer War, on poverty in lower class London in the 1800s, on female artists Berthe Morisot and Mary Cassatt (okay, I'll admit this one was interesting), on the royal rituals, the European Economic Community, the "Alternative Vote" and the media's influence on British politics. I guess in theory all of those topics sound fairly interesting. And I tried my best not to pick the most dry and mundane options. But Walt Disney vs. the Boer War? I think I can make my choice pretty easily.
I'm quick to let little things get me down. I have a problem with being a bit of a believer in Murphy's Law. Even though I consider myself an happy person, when one thing goes wrong I start to lose faith in all things. And that's ridiculous. At this point there's more in my life that is good than is bad. Some of the bad things are certainly scarier (i.e. I won't let myself stop worrying about my grandmother) and more preoccupying than the happy things, but that doesn't mean my life should be a downer. Or, God forbid, that I should be a downer.
I like being a happy peppy person. And I think generally I come off that way. So I hope to keep things according to that design.
My next couple of weeks are going to be so crazy and busy, but how about looking forward to it rather than dreading it? Right now that's what I'm endeavoring to do. It seems to be working at the moment.
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